That last night,
I remember feeling so small
trying to make myself disappear
in the crevice between the mattress and the wall
while you slept soundly, body outstretched,
your dorm mattress the perfect size to love yourself in.
There would never be enough room for me
so I kept getting up to pee
off the alcohol,
to brush my teeth with my finger,
and to wipe away my shame.
I forget the reasons, but I loved you once, remember?
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