jag orkar inte.

i'm tired
of hearing the same stories
day after day
from strangers, from loved ones,
from sisters.
i'm tired
of reading about the 14-year-old girl,
who spent hours dragging herself through snow
after teenage boys, athletes,
left her bloody and sore
at a parking lot near her home.
i'm tired
of reading the online comments underneath her story:
'that's what she gets for sneaking out of the house at 1am'
'that's what she gets for drinking alcohol'
i'm tired of people placing blame by saying,
'that's what she gets.'
i'm tired
of reading about girls who commit suicide
because they were brave enough to come forward
only to hear that they ruined those boys' 'promising futures,'
only to hear another flood of 'that's what she gets.'
i'm tired. so tired.
and after reading those stories
yesterday i got on the subway
and overheard a woman share a story
about when she flew first class.
she drank some wine
and made polite conversation
with the male passenger next to her.
her friend laughed, said something about the 'good life,'
only for her to continue her story
to say she took a nap
and woke up to find that passenger
fondling her neck and chest.
i'm tired
of her friend's nervous laughter that ensued,
trying to lessen the gravity of what he just heard.
i'm tired
of the way she lightened her voice as if to shrug it off.
i'm tired
of recognizing that voice in so many strangers,
loved ones, sisters,
of recognizing that voice in myself.
i'm tired. so tired.